If you think you're going to LOSE IT IN PUBLIC -- and you don't want to -- here are four things you can try:
(1) Go right ahead.
Sometimes you must push back to release tension or defend yourself -- or just to surf the moment -- it's a punk rock mosh pit slam dancing technique.
But before you react / act out / lash back, understand that there may be negative consequences for you to clean up later.
(2) Focus on something else.
By placing your concentration on anything that fully demands your RATIONAL RESOURCES, you can reduce your emotional vulnerability long enough to make it through the ordeal.
- Examples: (a) multiplication tables. (b) backwards alphabet. (c) physical labor.
(3) Focus on the HERE AND NOW.
As with distracting yourself, this too can turn off the stressful "noise inside your head" long enough to achieve clarity.
- Example: (a) study whatever is right in front of you in all its detail: the shape of any objects, their colors and shading, whatever it is that makes this image or view unique. Even a bare wall has some kind of texture, color, blemishes, etc.
Oh, yeah. And (b) KEEP BREATHING. DEEPLY. As in, FROM YOUR SOLES and thru your soul. Can you remain calm when the only real crisis is in your mind?
Anyone can use (c) a drink of water as a way to stall for time to steady oneself. So drink some. Deeply. Take your time and really taste it.
(d) Keep some tissue on hand, or ask for some. You can always excuse yourself to go blow your nose, even if your only choice is to turn your head momentarily from the source of stress.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I used most of (2) and (3) on Thursday afternoon to deal with an hour of stress in a doctor's waiting room. Oh, and I wrote the first draft of this post, too.
Here are two more things I didn't try:
(a) deliberately laughing out loud like a nutcase (it wouldn't have gotten me what I wanted, which was federal foundation low-income payment approval for immediate medical attention), and
(b) breaking down in tears (which I was on the verge of, nearly the entire time) -- but, of course, there is a huge social taboo against men crying in public. "Big boys don't cry."
!!!HOWEVER!!! Bursting into tears WORKED when I was 19, and a summer counselor / bureaucrat at college had screwed up my fall semester financial aid paperwork. So I stood there in the Office of Financial Aid lobby, sobbing my guts out, at the beginning of the semester, with a long line behind me.
RESULT: Crying in public got me a 90-day, 0% loan from a compassionate administrator. That loan (which I repaid promptly) kept me from getting kicked out of the dorms at the beginning of the semester. So you never know!
(The absurd and hilarious part is that I was already working as a dorm employee, on work/study, at minimum wage ... but that cut no ice with my bosses, a/k/a Mrs. Napoleon and Sir Genghis Khan! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ahem.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Finally,
(4) WHAT WORKS FOR YOU NOW, or what has worked for you in the past?
Please make a helpful comment, and I will post it below!
(My moderating keeps out spammers galore.)
TO CONCLUDE: Most of what passes for ordinary reality or everyday life is really quite amazing. But first, you must strip away the veils of nonsense. Most human action is futility passing as purpose. So remember that people can ruin anything.
Drop your expectations (assumptions of how things should be).
Merely observe what is. There is no need for you to judge it or comment on it. Just watch and listen.
Wishing you a beautiful day,
Bill Brent
[this page last updated: 2011.05.21, 9:15 p.m. Hawaii time | graphic credit: Cadged from the great PLONSKY group on Facebook!]
